Awards Season 2019: Razzies Nominations

And so, as is traditional now on the eve of the Oscar nominations, we come to one of the more lighthearted and less serious awards: the Golden Raspberrys (Razzies), dishonouring the worst in film in 2018. 

Here are the full nominations for the 39th Annual Razzie Awards 

WORST PICTURE

Gotti

The Happytime Murders

Holmes & Watson  

Robin Hood

Winchester 

WORST ACTRESS

Jennifer Garner (Peppermint)

Amber Heard (London Fields)

Melissa McCarthy (The Happytime Murders and Life of the Party)

Helen Mirren (Winchester)

Amanda Seyfried (The Clapper)  

WORST ACTOR

Johnny Depp (Voice Only) (Sherlock Gnomes)

Will Ferrell (Holmes & Watson)

John Travolta (Gotti)

Donald J. Trump (As Himself) (Death of a Nation and Fahrenheit 11/9)    

Bruce Willis (Death Wish)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Jamie Foxx (Robin Hood)

Ludacris (Voice Only) (Show Dogs)

Joel McHale (The Happytime Murders)

John C. Reilly (Holmes & Watson)

Justice Smith (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) 

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Kellyanne Conway (As Herself) (Fahrenheit 11/9)

Marcia Gay Harden (Fifty Shades Freed)

Kelly Preston (Gotti)

Jaz Sinclair (Slender Man)

Melania Trump (As Herself) (Fahrenheit 11/9)

WORST SCREEN COMBO

Any Two Actors or Puppets (Especially in Those Creepy Sex Scenes) (The Happytime Murders)

Johnny Depp & His Fast-Fading Film Career (Sherlock Gnomes)

Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly (Holmes & Watson)

Kelly Preston & John Travolta (Gotti)  

Donald J. Trump & His Self Perpetuating Pettiness (Death of a Nation & Fahrenheit 11/9)

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL

Death of a Nation 

Death Wish

Holmes & Watson

The Meg 

Robin Hood  

WORST DIRECTOR

Etan Cohen (Holmes & Watson)

Kevin Connolly (Gotti)

James Foley (Fifty Shades Freed)

Brian Henson (The Happytime Murders)

The Spierig Brothers (Winchester)  

WORST SCREENPLAY

Death of a Nation

Fifty Shades Freed

Gotti

The Happytime Murders

Winchester

So it's a four-way tie between Gotti, Holmes & Watson, The Happytime Murders, and Death Of A Nation for most nominations (each with 6) 

Nothing for Venom. Nada. Zip. This surprises me. Joint-top nominations for The Happytime Murders? That does not surprise me. As for the other categories, everything seems pretty standard as the Razzies go. Slating for the Fifty Shades... films? Check. Raging contempt for Johnny Depp? Check.

In case anyone's wondering, Death Of A Nation is a 'docudrama' which- and I kid you not- compares the dramatic fracturing of the US over the presidency of Abraham Lincoln and the presidency of Donald Trump. A film which has the tagline: 'Can we save America a second time?' It's written and directed by 'documentarian' and convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza whose last film- Hillary's America: The Secret History Of The Democratic Party- did a massive hatchet job on Democrats in general and Clinton in particular and got similarly panned at the 2017 Razzies. Unsurprisingly, and with a depressing inevitability, D'Souza received a full pardon by Trump in 2018.  I look this shit up so you don't have to. You're welcome, random people of the Internet. 

The Razzies winners will be announced on Saturday February 23rd 2019 (ie. the day before the Oscars). 


Right, after all of this malarkey, it just leaves the big one: the 91st Academy Awards, whose nominations will be announced tomorrow (Tuesday 22nd January). I am still weighing up my predictions for the main six categories- several categories are wide open-  but I will post them later today (once I've actually made a decision). 

Review: Murder On The Orient Express (UK Cert 12A)

One of Agatha Christie's best known and best-loved novels, Murder On The Orient Express was first published in 1934. Forty years later, an all-star cast brought the story to life. Now, 43 years later, another all-star cast assemble to tell a new version of the story, with Kenneth Branagh pulling double-duty as director and as the famous Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot. 

After solving a case in Jerusalem, Poirot is asked to return to London and asks his friend, Monsieur Bouc, to find him a berth on the Orient Express. There's one place available which Poirot takes. Whilst on the journey, he is approached by Samuel Ratchett, an American businessman, who asks Poirot for protection as he has been receiving death threats. Poirot turns the offer down. That night, the train gets stuck during an avalanche whilst travelling through Yugoslavia. The following morning, Ratchett is found dead. Stabbed to death multiple times. With many suspects and only a short amount of time before the avalanche is cleared and the Yugoslav authorities get involved, Poirot must follow the clues and find out who wanted Ratchett dead- and who struck the fatal blows. 

This is going to sound like a very backhanded compliment but I was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable I found this new version of Murder On The Orient Express. I had my doubts that this would be just a pale imitation of Lumet's star-studded 1974 film (and comparisons are inevitable). This film beats its own path- sometimes successfully, sometimes not. 

Branagh's Poirot is a very different one than any seen before; he doesn't try and ape Ustinov or Finney or Suchet. Poirot's famed fastidiousness is played up here (expecting exactly the same sized eggs at breakfast or asking people to straighten their ties) but he provides a thoughtful and occasionally funny performance. Sadly though, the massive walrus moustache is a misstep. It's a little distracting. 

The rest of the cast are also very strong. Michelle Pfeiffer is excellent as the flighty and flirty Mrs Hubbard, whilst Derek Jacobi provides a strong supporting turn as Ratchett's butler Mr Masterman. Daisy Ridley is great as former governess Mary Debenham and there's an interesting casting choice with Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr (not Colonel) Arbuthnot. Despite a slightly strange English accent, he's pretty good- and it also shows some of the period's attitude to race (which adds an extra dimension). Penelope Cruz is good as missionary Pilar Estravados (changed from Greta Ohlsson), whilst Josh Gad adds a fine turn as Ratchett's secretary McQueen. Johnny Depp is oleaginous and unpleasant as Ratchett- so does his job well of getting the audience to hate him before he's offed. Willem Dafoe is also good as Gerhard Hardman, a stuffy Austrian professor. 

Several of the characters are not sketched out as well, which is a shame- Judi Dench hasn't got much to do as the aged Princess Dragomiroff (but what she does, she does well; hell, she's Judi Dench- she could make a takeaway menu sound like Keats). Similarly, the brilliant Olivia Colman doesn't get a lot as the Princess' dour ladies-maid. The Count and Countess Andrenyi (played by ballet dancer Sergei Polunin and Lucy Boynton respectively) barely feature, although both are strong when they do appear. There's also been some jiggery-pokery with some other minor characters, like the car salesman (who now goes by the name of Marquez). 

This is a handsome-looking film. The production design, the costumes, and the cinematography are all to be commended. There are some lovely long sweeping takes of the train as it travels through the countryside and there's some interesting shots which follow characters walking through the coach. There's an over-reliance on a few types of shot (they seem keen on showing people reflected through glass) and some intriguing decisions made on some shots (for instance, you don't immediately see Ratchett's body when it's discovered). 

There's quite a few bits that have been added which don't really serve much of a purpose except to break up what must have been considered the monotony of people talking in a room. So there's a section where one suspect flees the train to burn some incriminating evidence, another confronts Poirot with a gun; none of it needed and- if anything- for me, it detracted from the film. You've got scintillating actors, a strong story, a pretty good script- you don't need to add these bits in! Not everyone who goes to the cinema has the attention span of a fruit-fly. 

The solution to Murder On The Orient Express is one of the best-known in all of crime fiction (pretty much second to 'the butler did it') which can rob the denouement of some of its power. That said, even if you know the solution going in, the performances as Poirot lays out the facts are very strong even though (another baffling decision) it takes place in a railway tunnel.

There was a lot I liked about the film, and a few things I didn't. There was a lot of unnecessary tinkering which was a bit irksome, but the opulent design of the film and several of the performances win over. All said though, it's a pretty decent stab at a thrilling story. 

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Tez

Review: Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge (UK Cert 12A)

SPOILER WARNING! This review discusses and/or mentions a few important plot points. If you would prefer not to have these spoiled, please stop reading now and come back once you've seen the film.

It's been six years since On Stranger Tides but the next instalment in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise is finally here. Directed by Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg (Kon-Tiki), Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush return with newcomers Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario and Javier Bardem as part of the main cast.

Henry Turner, seeking to break his father's curse and free him from The Flying Dutchman, is looking for the Trident of Poseidon. He enlists the help of the notorious Captain Jack Sparrow who is up to no good in St Martin. Along the way, they meet astronomer Carina who is in possession of a diary that might just help him. However, there's a dark force chasing them- the ghost ship of the fearsome Captain Armando Salazar who has a bone to pick with Jack...

It's a minor point perhaps but I can't see any good reason at all for changing the subtitle from Dead Men Tell No Tales. If anything, that's a better title and actually fits in to the Pirates mythology (it's a line that can be heard on the ride). But, for whatever reason, it's Salazar's Revenge in the UK.

Usually by the fifth instalment of a franchise, things get a bit stale and a bit staid, it's all just variations on a theme. Salazar's Revenge has got the same sense of fun as The Curse Of The Black Pearl; a supremely silly but thoroughly enjoyable romp.

Johnny Depp camps it up something fierce as Jack Sparrow. He's been playing this role for the best part of 15 years now so knows it like the back of his hand. He's full of swagger and charisma as usual and the writers have cannily decided to almost have him as a supporting character (this is by no means the Captain Jack show). He's responsible for a lot of the humour in the film- although not all- and it's a real moment of cheer when he finally takes charge of the Black Pearl again.

Geoffrey Rush is as good as always as Captain Hector Barbossa, who starts off as King of the Seas but finds his position diminished by Salazar's vendetta against pirates. Forced into a series of uneasy alliances and accords, Barbossa also has to deal with a few ghosts of his own past. Orlando Bloom hasn't got a lot of screen time but has a decent cameo role which book-ends the film nicely and there's a nice surprise appearance from another old face which is another punch-the-air moment.

Of the new cast, Kaya Scodelario really impresses as Carina. She's strong, forthright, a little stubborn, fiercely intelligent and certainly no passive maiden. She holds the key to finding the island where the Trident is hidden and her intellect marks her out. Indeed, when she's first seen, she's about to be executed for witchcraft, despite being a woman of science (which amounted to the same thing in the 18th century). Her outlook is changed when she comes face to face with the worlds of ghosts and monsters but is still an enquiring mind. In a summer of films with kickass female leads, Carina Smyth is a great addition to that roster.

Surrounded by the charisma of Depp and the strength of Scodelario, sadly Brenton Thwaites can't help but come across as a little bland and a little wooden in comparison (then again, the same argument can be made for Orlando Bloom in the original trilogy). It's not that his performance is bad per se, but it's just not strong and suffers in comparison with those around it. He also doesn't have as much in way of character as the others: Henry is an earnest young man, who knows the legends of the sea and wants his father back. That's all well and good but that's it. A shame he couldn't have been more developed.

Javier Bardem starts off with the right amount of menace as the undead Salazar but becomes more and more unhinged (and therefore less menacing) as the film goes on. By the end, he's a goggle-eyed panto villain rather than the threat he started as. There's solid support as always by Kevin McNally as Jack's right-hand man Gibbs and there's an absolutely wonderful cameo appearance by Paul McCartney as Jack's uncle- he gets a good few jokes and adds a real moment of humour.

Visually, it's pretty good, although I did find the visual effects on Salazar a little disorienting at the beginning- my brain was having problems processing what was going on with his face. The zombie shark attack is probably the highlight, whilst the chase through St Martin after the bank robbery kicks things off in top gear. Although, some bits are very dark- as in, not clear what's really happening due to lack of light (specifically the scenes in the Devil's Triangle).

I'll be honest, Salazar's Revenge wasn't high on my list of must-see summer blockbusters. In fact, my attitude to it was much the same as that for The Curse Of The Black Pearl- 'I'll give it a punt if there's nothing else on that I fancy'. But I'm glad I went to see it. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I was going to. It's breezy, light and fun.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Tez

Review: Black Mass (UK Cert 15)

In the 1970s, James 'Whitey' Bulger was one of the most powerful and dangerous mobsters in America. He controlled almost all organised crime in South Boston and, in an attempt to eliminate competition from the Italian mob, became an informant for an old friend, John Connolly, who was working for the FBI. This forms the central crux of Black Mass, a gritty, brutal crime drama directed by Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Out Of The Furnace) and starring Johnny Depp as Bulger.

Depp has, for a long time, played very broad characters or even caricatures, hidden under tics and quirks. His performance as Bulger is a very different beast altogether. Bulger is a controlling, vicious, violent psychopath, utterly ruthless and not afraid to get his hands dirty. He barely raises his voice above a gravelly rumble but is utterly in control. There's a scene at a dinner table where Bulger goes from convivial to utterly sinister and then back to cheerful bonhomie, to the shock and discomfort of everyone else round the table. It's one of Depp's strongest performances of the last decade.

Joel Edgerton plays FBI agent Connolly, a Southie boy done good. Initially an honest man, his own morals become compromised in his dealings with Bulger. In some ways, it's reminiscent of Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed and Connolly becomes more and more frantic to keep things from falling apart and to keep his boss (a steely Kevin Bacon) from pulling the plug. It's a decent performance by Edgerton, albeit lacking something of the spark that Depp has.

Benedict Cumberbatch pulls off a convincing Boston accent to play Senator William 'Billy' Bulger, Whitey's brother and old friend of Connolly. The senator turns a blind eye to his brother's criminal ways and keeps his two worlds separate. David Harbour and Corey Stoll impress as a corrupt FBI agent and a bulldog US attorney respectively, with Stoll only introduced late in the day as the net starts to close on Bulger. 

As you can imagine, this is a vividly macho film with the female characters getting particularly short-changed; Dakota Johnson makes an early appearance as the mother of Bulger's son, but soon gets sidelined, while Julianne Nicholson has a few potent scenes as Connolly's wife Marianne, managing to imbue what could have just been a cardboard cut-out nagging wife with a bit of life. Juno Temple's screen time is pretty short and only seems included to show just how ruthless Bulger could be. This is very much a man's world.

It's an unrelentingly violent film too, with brains being splattered against windshields and unfortunate snitches garrotted left, right and centre. There's no glamour to the gore, it's not beautifully or artistically shot (the same can be said for the whole film actually; it's a gritty, downlow kind of film). It's a fact of the lives that Bulger and his associates lead. 

It's a truly engrossing film, which grabs you from the get-go. It's a long film as well (over 2 hours) but doesn't feel like it. A gripping and absorbing crime thriller.

Black Mass is on general release from 25th November.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Tez

Review: Into The Woods (UK Cert PG)

Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine's fairy-tale mash-up Into The Woods was first produced in 1986 and a movie version has been on the table since the early 1990s. But it's director Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine) that has brought this musical masterpiece to the big screen.

A vengeful witch has put a curse of childlessness upon a Baker and his Wife. To lift the spell, he must find four fairytale artefacts- the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, and the slipper as pure as gold- and bring them back in three days' time. Meanwhile, Cinderella wants to go to the ball, Jack has to sell the family cow, and a little girl in a red cape must bring bread to Grandmother's house. All of them must go into the woods... But who will live happily ever after?

Because it has a PG rating in the UK, and is a Disney film, the trailers before the film were all for animated kids' movies. Make no mistake, this isn't a happy-go-lucky, fluffy, kid-friendly musical. It's very dark in places- death, infidelity and darkness abound, especially in the second half of the film- and the adult themes of some of the musical numbers might not be too appropriate for younger children. That said, there's a lot of fun to be had here.

Meryl Streep plays The Witch and is the main focus of most of the advertising (despite the character being very much a supporting one in the grand scheme of things). This is the first time Meryl Streep has ever played a witch, and you can see she's having an absolute ball. It's a high camp performance but she absolutely sells it, especially in the Witch's final song, a triumphant screw-you entitled 'Last Midnight' where she leaves an emperilled band of characters to their bickering. An absolutely delightful performance.

Anna Kendrick (who has proven her vocal talents in Camp and Pitch Perfect) makes for a great Cinderella, yearning for a different life then finding out it's not quite what she had planned. Emily Blunt is great as the Baker's Wife, providing an emotional anchor for most of the film. James Corden is a bit wooden on times as the Baker and sometimes struggles to sell the performance but it's decent enough.Chris Pine channels his inner Shatner to play Cinderella's Prince and has a nice tongue-in-cheek duet with Rapunzel's Prince (Billy Magnussen) called 'Agony' about his love for the mysterious stranger at the ball. However, a man raised to be 'charming, not sincere' can be trouble and his wandering eye soon causes issues.

Finally, Johnny Depp vamps it up as The Wolf, channelling the 1940s Tex Avery cartoons. This is where I run into a problem. The Wolf attempts to waylay Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford, who starts off as a little annoying but mellows as the film progresses) and there are some, frankly, rather pervy comments in his song 'Hello, Little Girl' (especially one about 'scrumptious carnality'). They've cast a 13-year-old girl as Red so the whole thing feels a little bit wrong. Depp earns his 'and' credit, in the film for barely five minutes.  

The film looks sumptuous, so praise should go to cinematographer Dion Beebe, as well as the costume, make-up and production design teams. As an adaptation of the musical, it's quite faithful although several of the musical numbers have been excised, a few roles have been changed (the notable one is the omission of the Narrator, whose role is filled by Corden) and a few of the outcomes have been altered- and some of the deaths made more palatable. The rougher edges have been taken off, but the central message is still there - fairytales are not always nicey-nicey stories, they're often cautionary tales about behaving badly or contrary to societal norms.  They're also quite barbaric (hinted at in the fate of Cinderella's Ugly Sisters who suffer the same fate as the original story). 

On the whole, a few moments of weirdness aside, I thoroughly enjoyed Into The Woods. Sondheim fans will no doubt have an opinion on the veracity of the adaptation, but it's worth seeing for the stellar performances of Streep, Kendrick and Blunt and a couple of damn good musical numbers.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Tez

Awards Season 2014: Razzie Nominations

Today saw the nominations announced for the Golden Raspberry Awards (a.k.a. Razzies). 

Dishonouring the very worst in cinema in 2013, Grown Ups 2 leads the field with 8 nominations, whilst there are nods for both Adam Sandler and Tyler Perry (the Razzie panel seriously dislike those two) and Sylvester Stallone gets his 31st Razzie nomination.

WORST PICTURE

After Earth

Grown Ups 2

The Lone Ranger

A Madea Christmas

Movie 43

WORST ACTOR

Johnny Depp (The Lone Ranger)

Ashton Kutcher (Jobs)

Adam Sandler (Grown Ups 2)

Jaden Smith (After Earth)

Sylvester Stallone (Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan and Grudge Match)

WORST ACTRESS

Halle Berry (The Call and Movie 43)

Selena Gomez (Getaway)

Lindsay Lohan (The Canyons and InAPPropriate Comedy)

Tyler Perry (as Madea) (A Madea Christmas)

Naomi Watts (Diana and Movie 43)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Chris Brown (Battle of the Year)

Larry the Cable Guy (A Madea Christmas)

Taylor Lautner (Grown Ups 2)

Will Smith (After Earth)
Nick Swardson (A Haunted House and Grown Ups 2)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Salma Hayek (Grown Ups 2)

Katherine Heigl (The Big Wedding)

Kim Kardashian (Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor)

Lady Gaga (Machete Kills)

Lindsay Lohan (Scary Movie 5)

WORST SCREEN COMBO

The entire cast of Grown Ups 2

The entire cast of Movie 43

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen (Scary Movie 5)

Tyler Perry and either Larry the Cable Guy or that worn out wig and dress (A Madea Christmas)

Jaden Smith and Will Smith on planet nepotism (After Earth)

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL

Grown Ups 2

The Lone Ranger

The Hangover Part III

Scary Movie 5

Smurfs 2

WORST DIRECTOR

Dennis Dugan (Grown Ups 2)

Tyler Perry (A Madea Christmas and Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor)

M. Night Shyamalan (After Earth)

the thirteen directors of Movie 43

Gore Verbinski (The Lone Ranger)

WORST SCREENPLAY

After Earth

Grown Ups 2

The Lone Ranger

A Madea Christmas

Movie 43

As is traditional, the Razzies will be handed out the day before the Oscars, which means this year they'll be awarded on Saturday 1st March.

Next up will be my predictions for tomorrow's Oscar nominations. I'll post them shortly.

Tez

Programme 14 - Dark Shadows, Safe and DVD releases

Programme 14 is available (click here to watch on VideoMajic.tv)!


In this show, we cast our eyes on Tim Burton's latest collaboration with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, the big-screen version of Dark Shadows; the crime action thriller Safe with Jason Statham; plus review Cowboys & Aliens and Zookeeper on DVD


In the news, the Cannes Film Festival gets underway, Suspiria gets a remake and (unsurprisingly) Marvel's Avengers gets a sequel!


Podcasts can be found here and here.


Enjoy!