Awards Season 2023: Razzies Winners

So, it's Oscars Eve. The great and good of Hollywood will be primping, preening, and preparing for one of the biggest nights of the year. It's also the day that the Golden Raspberry (Razzie) Awards get handed out, dishonouring the cinematic crapulence of the previous year.  

So here are this year's "winners":

Worst Picture: Blonde

Worst Director: Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun (Good Mourning)

Worst Actor: Jared Leto (Morbius)

Worst Actress: The Golden Raspberry Awards

Worst Supporting Actor: Tom Hanks (Elvis)

Worst Supporting Actress: Adria Arjona (Morbius)

Worst Remake, Sequel Or Rip-Off: Disney's Pinocchio

Worst Screen Combo: Tom Hanks and his latex-laden face (and ludicrous accent) (Elvis)

Worst Screenplay: Blonde

Razzie Redeemer: Colin Farrell

You may be wondering "Awards Guru Tez, why are the Golden Raspberry Awards the 'winners' of the Worst Actress award?" Well, gather round, my award fans, and I'll tell ye a tale...

When the nominations were announced on 22nd January, Ryan Kiera Armstrong was included in the Worst Actress category for her performance as Charlie in the 2022 remake of Firestarter; she is 12 years old. 

A little history lesson: the Razzies have previous in nominating child actors: at the 3rd Razzie Awards (1983), they gave the Worst Supporting Actress award to 11-year old Aileen Quinn for her performance in Annie. Other minors who have been nominated include:

• Gary Coleman (Worst Actor for On The Right Track [1981], when he was 13);
• Jake Lloyd (Worst Supporting Actor for Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace [1999] when he was 10)
• Macaulay Culkin (a Worst Actor nominee for three films- Getting Even With Dad [1994], The Pagemaster [1994], and Ri¢hie Ri¢h [1994]- all when he was 14); and 
• Olivia d'Abo (nominated for Worst Supporting Actress for her roles in Conan The Destroyer [1984] and Bolero [1984]- in which she appears nude- when she was 15). 

Unsurprisingly (and rightly so), the backlash was quick and fierce. Razzies co-founder John J.B. Wilson made a statement that said "The intent was to be funny. In this particular instance, we seem to have misstepped very badly." No shit, Sherlock. 

Armstrong was subsequently removed from the ballot, and the organisation will no longer allow actors under the age of 18 to be nominated in any category. And, as something of a public mea culpa, the Razzies have given themselves this award. 

Other nominees for the Razzie Redeemer this year- which is given to a former Razzie nominee or winner who has come back from critical and/or commercial failure-  were Val Kilmer (going from The Island Of Dr. Moreau to the subject of acclaimed documentary Val) and Mark Wahlberg (from three-time Worst Actor nominee to biopic Father Stu). 

Blonde, Elvis, and Morbius each won two Razzies apiece. Elvis has the dubious distinction of winning in each category it was nominated for. 

Congratulations to all "winners"!

So, that just leaves the big one: the 95th Academy Awards. I'll be posting my predictions for who will win in six major categories tomorrow afternoon.