Awards Season 2023: Razzies Winners

So, it's Oscars Eve. The great and good of Hollywood will be primping, preening, and preparing for one of the biggest nights of the year. It's also the day that the Golden Raspberry (Razzie) Awards get handed out, dishonouring the cinematic crapulence of the previous year.  

So here are this year's "winners":

Worst Picture: Blonde

Worst Director: Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun (Good Mourning)

Worst Actor: Jared Leto (Morbius)

Worst Actress: The Golden Raspberry Awards

Worst Supporting Actor: Tom Hanks (Elvis)

Worst Supporting Actress: Adria Arjona (Morbius)

Worst Remake, Sequel Or Rip-Off: Disney's Pinocchio

Worst Screen Combo: Tom Hanks and his latex-laden face (and ludicrous accent) (Elvis)

Worst Screenplay: Blonde

Razzie Redeemer: Colin Farrell

You may be wondering "Awards Guru Tez, why are the Golden Raspberry Awards the 'winners' of the Worst Actress award?" Well, gather round, my award fans, and I'll tell ye a tale...

When the nominations were announced on 22nd January, Ryan Kiera Armstrong was included in the Worst Actress category for her performance as Charlie in the 2022 remake of Firestarter; she is 12 years old. 

A little history lesson: the Razzies have previous in nominating child actors: at the 3rd Razzie Awards (1983), they gave the Worst Supporting Actress award to 11-year old Aileen Quinn for her performance in Annie. Other minors who have been nominated include:

• Gary Coleman (Worst Actor for On The Right Track [1981], when he was 13);
• Jake Lloyd (Worst Supporting Actor for Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace [1999] when he was 10)
• Macaulay Culkin (a Worst Actor nominee for three films- Getting Even With Dad [1994], The Pagemaster [1994], and Ri¢hie Ri¢h [1994]- all when he was 14); and 
• Olivia d'Abo (nominated for Worst Supporting Actress for her roles in Conan The Destroyer [1984] and Bolero [1984]- in which she appears nude- when she was 15). 

Unsurprisingly (and rightly so), the backlash was quick and fierce. Razzies co-founder John J.B. Wilson made a statement that said "The intent was to be funny. In this particular instance, we seem to have misstepped very badly." No shit, Sherlock. 

Armstrong was subsequently removed from the ballot, and the organisation will no longer allow actors under the age of 18 to be nominated in any category. And, as something of a public mea culpa, the Razzies have given themselves this award. 

Other nominees for the Razzie Redeemer this year- which is given to a former Razzie nominee or winner who has come back from critical and/or commercial failure-  were Val Kilmer (going from The Island Of Dr. Moreau to the subject of acclaimed documentary Val) and Mark Wahlberg (from three-time Worst Actor nominee to biopic Father Stu). 

Blonde, Elvis, and Morbius each won two Razzies apiece. Elvis has the dubious distinction of winning in each category it was nominated for. 

Congratulations to all "winners"!

So, that just leaves the big one: the 95th Academy Awards. I'll be posting my predictions for who will win in six major categories tomorrow afternoon. 

Awards Season 2023: Razzies Nominations

 

Newton's Third Law of Motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We can therefore deduce from this that the Golden Raspberries (which dishonour the cinematic bilge of the previous year) are the equal and opposite reaction to the Oscars. Who says this blog can't be entertaining and educational at the same time?

So here are the full nominations for the 43rd Annual Razzie Awards, and there's a rather surprising film in the lead.

WORST PICTURE

Blonde

Disney’s Pinocchio

Good Mourning     

The King’s Daughter

Morbius 

WORST ACTRESS

Ryan Kiera Armstrong (Firestarter)

Bryce Dallas Howard (Jurassic Park: Dominion)

Diane Keaton (Mack & Rita)

Kaya Scodelario (The King’s Daughter)

Alicia Silverstone (The Requin)

WORST ACTOR

Colson Baker (Good Mourning)

Pete Davidson (Voice Only) (Marmaduke)

Tom Hanks (Disney’s Pinocchio)

Jared Leto (Morbius)

Sylvester Stallone (Samaritan)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Pete Davidson (Good Mourning)

Tom Hanks (Elvis)

Xavier Samuel (Blonde)

Mod Sun (Good Mourning)

Evan Williams (Blonde)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Adria Arjona (Morbius)

Lorraine Bracco (Voice Only) (Disney’s Pinocchio)

Penélope Cruz (The 355)

Fan Bingbing (The 355 and The King’s Daughter)

Mira Sorvino (Lamborghini: The Man Behind the Legend) 

WORST SCREEN COUPLE

Colson Baker & Mod Sun (Good Mourning)

Both Real Life Characters in the Fallacious White House Bedroom Scene (Blonde)

Tom Hanks & His Latex-Laden Face (and Ludicrous Accent) (Elvis)

Andrew Dominik & His Issues with Women (Blonde)

The Two 365 Days Sequels 

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL

Blonde

Both 365 Days Sequels (365 Days: This Day and The Next 365 Days)

Disney’s Pinocchio 

Firestarter

Jurassic World: Dominion

WORST DIRECTOR

Judd Apatow (The Bubble)

Colson Baker & Mod Sun (Good Mourning)

Andrew Dominik (Blonde)

Daniel Espinosa (Morbius)

Robert Zemeckis (Disney’s Pinocchio)

WORST SCREENPLAY

Blonde

Disney’s Pinocchio

Good Mourning

Jurassic World: Dominion

Morbius

Blonde leads the pack with eight nods, with stoner "comedy" Good Mourning (written by, co-directed by and starring Colson Baker [a.k.a. Machine Gun Kelly]) in second place with seven. Disney's Pinocchio gets six nominations, while Morbius gets five. I'm surprised, I was expecting Morbius to maybe get a few more. 

Blonde is the film adaptation of Joyce Carol Oates' novel based on the life of Marilyn Monroe. It's not a biopic in the strictest sense, because it's based on Oates' novel and not a biography or autobiography. It's come in for some flack- as a film which criticises the exploitation of Marilyn Monroe by... exploiting the very same persona- but Ana de Armas' performance has been widely praised. She has remained unscathed with today's announcement; director Andrew Dominik, not so much. 

There's a couple of films which can count their lucky stars not to be included on this list- Death On The Nile and Halloween Ends, I'm looking at you. 

As is tradition, the Razzies will be handed out the day before the Oscars, meaning that we'll see which of these stinkers walks away with the prizes on Saturday 11th March 2023.

As is also tradition, I'll be posting my predictions for the main six categories for the 95th Academy Awards a little later today, ahead of the announcement tomorrow afternoon.

The Watchers Film Show Review Of 2022

Our Review of 2022 is here!

In our twelfth (twelfth!) annual review of the year, we discuss what made our nice lists and our naughty lists- with one film from someone's nice list made the naughty list of another! But what was it? 

Could it be Thor: Love & Thunder? Death On The Nile? Or maybe it was Morbius? (Just kidding, it definitely wasn't Morbius)

Documentaries, awards fodder, horror movies, whodunits and comic book movies all get a mention - we are nothing if not diverse! Take a listen and let us know your best (and worst) films of 2022.

Enjoy! 
 

Happy New Year From The Watchers!

 

Happy New Year to you all!

However you spent last night, we hope you enjoyed it and hopefully 2022 has started well for everyone. 

If 2021 was not a good year for you, may 2022 be better. If 2021 was a good year for you, may 2022 continue to be good. In any and all cases,

In terms of upcoming cinematic treats, there's plenty that The Watchers are excited by: Scream (or Scream 5, or 5cream if you will), The Tragedy Of Macbeth, Death On The Nile (finally due in February if all goes to plan!), The Batman, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore, Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness, Top Gun: Maverick, Jurassic World Dominion, Thor: Love And Thunder, Black Adam, Mission: Impossible 7, Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (Part One), Halloween Ends, The Flash, Creed III, Morbius, Turning Red, Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom, and John Wick: Chapter 4, to name but a few. 

Obviously there's a lot that can still change, so we'll keep an eye out and let you know of any big shifts. 

We wish you all the very best - may the upcoming year bring you what you want and need to thrive. 

The Watchers

(Rhys, Matt & Tez)

State Of Play: January 2021

Hope you're all doing well and January has been as kind as it can be to yourselves. 

We're still in the grip of a deadly pandemic and the cinema schedules keep changing left, right, and centre, so thought it was worth looking at the lie of the land as we come to the close of the first month of a new year. 

To very few people's surprise, news broke late last week that No Time To Die was being shunted back again, this time to 8th October 2021 (from its revised April 2021 release). It's disappointing, but understandable. The world is still very much in flux, so I can appreciate the studios wanting to err to the side of caution. If it keeps this date, it will arrive a few days shy of six years after the last Bond movie, Spectre.

This decision has set off a bit of a domino effect, with a lot of other films now having been moved, including Edgar Wright's horror-thriller Last Night In Soho (now due October 22nd 2021), Ghostbusters: Afterlife (now 11th November), and A Quiet Place: Part II (17th September), with Jared Leto's Morbius, and Tom Holland's Uncharted shifted into 2022.  

Before Christmas, Warner Bros. announced that their full slate for 2021- 17 films in total, including The Matrix 4, Dune, and The Suicide Squad- would follow the example of Wonder Woman 1984 and be released on both HBO Max and in cinemas (where possible) on their respective release dates. Already, the Sopranos prequel The Many Saints Of Newark has had a date change, so others may follow.

Here are the current releases at the moment, correct as of 25th January 2021. Films below marked with an asterisk are Warner Bros. films and will be released on HBO Max on day of release as well as cinemas. 


2021

March 5     Coming 2 America (Amazon Prime)

March 5     Raya And The Last Dragon (Disney+)

March 26     Godzilla Vs. Kong *

May 7     Black Widow

May 28     F9

June 18     In The Heights *

July 2     Top Gun: Maverick

July 9     Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings

July 16     Cinderella

July 30     Jungle Cruise

August 13     BIOS

August 20     The King's Men

September 17     A Quiet Place: Part II

September 24     The Many Saints Of Newark *

October 1     Dune *

October 8     No Time To Die

October 15     The Last Duel

October 22     Last Night In Soho

November 5     Eternals

November 11     Ghostbusters: Afterlife

November 19     Mission: Impossible 7

December 3     Nightmare Alley

December 10     West Side Story

December 17     Sony/Marvel Spider-Man 3

December 22     The Matrix 4 *



2022

January 21     Morbius

February 11     Thor: Love And Thunder

February 11     Uncharted

March 4     The Batman

March 25     Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

July 8     Black Panther 2

July 15     Fantastic Beasts 3

November 4     The Flash

November 11     Captain Marvel 2


At the moment, the first big blockbusters of 2021 will be Black Widow and F9 in May - but it's probably too early to say that those dates will definitely hold. 

This is something that I found out today, and which I found very telling: of the many films who advertised during last year's SuperBowl (a traditional spot for new releases to advertise to a massive audience and where the cost of a 30-second slot was around $5.6m), only four have actually been released: they are The Invisible Man, Sonic The Hedgehog, Mulan, and The Spongebob Movie: Sponge On The Run. 

We'll keep you updated if when things change again. 

Delayed Movie Releases - April 2020

We hope that you are all keeping well and are coping in this brave new world we find ourselves in. 

It's no understatement to say that the coronavirus outbreak has meant a fundamental shift in the way we are living our lives. As a result of this, the entertainment industries have found themselves in a position where planned releases and schedules have gone out the window in light of the very serious events happening around the world. 

Many productions- including Mission: Impossible 7, Jurassic World: Dominion, The Batman, The Matrix 4, and Fantastic Beasts 3- have halted in the wake of the pandemic, which may well affect their release dates in the future. 

Below is a partial list of some of the big films that have been completed and were due this year whose release has been delayed.

No Time To Die

The 25th Bond film- with Daniel Craig on his fifth appearance as 007, and a cracking theme song by Billie Eilish- was due to be released on April 2nd. It will now be released in November instead. 

A Quiet Place Part II

This horror sequel was due to hit theatres in March; it will now be released on September 4th. 

Fast And Furious 9

This is one of the longer delays, with the film- the ninth (ninth!) in the series, how mad is that? (I suppose it's technically 10th if you include Hobbs & Shaw... anyway...)- now due for release in April 2021 (instead of May 2020)

Mulan

The live-action Mulan, directed by Niki Caro and starring Yifei Liu in the lead role, was due for release on March 27th. It will now open on July 24th. 

The New Mutants

This film which, it's fair to say, has had something of a troubled journey to the screen was due on April 3rd. "Out of an abundance of caution", it has been delayed. But, unlike a lot of other films on this list, no new release date has been set as yet. 

Wonder Woman 1984

Only a delay of a few months for this DC film, with it set to be released on August 14th 2020 (instead of June 5th)

Minions: The Rise Of Gru

Another long delay here, with the release of the Illumination Entertainment's sequel pushed back a year to July 2nd 2021.

In The Heights

The movie adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda's stage musical was due for release on June 26th 2020 but (as with The New Mutants) no new date has been set as yet. 

Morbius

Yep, I'd kind of forgotten about this film, but it was due for release this summer. Now, Jared Leto's vampiric antihero will be hitting the screen in March 2021.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Joining Morbius in a slot next March is the Ghostbusters sequel, starring Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, and a few familiar faces...

Top Gun: Maverick

When you've been waiting 35 years for a sequel, a few months is small change in comparison. Top Gun: Maverick will hit cinemas in December 2020 (rather than June)

Candyman

The horror remake or "spiritual sequel" (as its been called), produced by Jordan Peele, and starring Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Tony Todd will be released on September 25th 2020 (a few months later than originally planned)

Jungle Cruise

The Dwayne Johnson family adventure comedy also gets a long delay, now due on July 30th 2021 (a full year from its planned original release)

Indiana Jones 5

As part of Disney's massive overhaul of its release schedule, the fifth Indiana Jones movie has also been shifted: it's now slated for release on July 29th 2022. 

MCU Movies

I thought it best to leave these til last, as there's been something of a domino effect from the decision to move Black Widow from its May release. In fact, the entire release calendar for all of Phase 4 has been altered and now reads as follows:

Black Widow - November 6th 2020

The Eternals - February 12th 2021

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings - May 7th 2021

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness - November 5th 2021

Thor: Love And Thunder - February 18th 2022

Black Panther 2 - May 8th 2022

Captain Marvel 2 - July 8th 2022


Of course, this could all change tomorrow. Another slew of movies could be delayed, cancelled, or moved to a streaming service (such as Artemis Fowl now being released on Disney+ instead of getting a theatrical release). We simply don't know. These are uncharted waters. We'll try and keep on top of it.

In the meantime, take care of yourselves, keep safe, and raid the various streaming sites for an eclectic and exciting blend of movies which might help pass the time. 

Comicbook Movie Round-Up: April 2019 (Part 3)

In the third and final part of this round-up (aren't you glad I didn't do this in one post?), we take a look at what Sony has brewing in relation to its Marvel-adjacent movies and find out what's going on with the X-Men...

SONY

MORBIUS

As part of Sony's Universe of Marvel Characters (SUMC)- which started with Venom- there's going to be a film featuring Morbius The Living Vampire 

For those who need to know, Morbius The Living Vampire was introduced in the Spider-Man comics in 1971. Created by Roy Thomas and Gil Kane, Dr. Michael Morbius attempted to cure himself of a rare blood disease- with disastrous consequences. Well, if you will inject yourself with vampire-bat DNA...  Instead of a cure, he found a thirst for blood- as well as super strength, and fangs. Originally an antagonist, Morbius soon became a hero of sorts. 

Jared Leto is taking on the main role (probably another reason why he won't be reprising the Joker anytime soon), whilst erstwhile Time Lord Matt Smith and Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows' Jared Harris have also joined the cast, rumoured to be the villain Loxias Crown (who suffers the same disease as Morbius) and Morbius' mentor respectively. Adria Arjona (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Good Omens) and Tyrese Gibson (Transformers, Fast & Furious 5) are also due to star, with Arjona as Martine Bancroft- Morbius' love interest- and Gibson as an FBI agent who is after the living vampire. 

Daniel Espinosa (Safe House, Life) will direct, from a script by Burk Sharpless & Matt Samaza. The film is expected in July 2020.  

VENOM 2

Venom made a lot of money for Sony (with over $850m at the box office)- despite having about as much charm and wit as a sewage outlet- so it's pretty much a no-brainer that a sequel is in the works. Writer Kelly Marcel will return to write the screenplay. Given the brief scene with Woody Harrelson toward the end of the film, it's a pretty sure bet that any sequel will feature Cletus Kassady (a.k.a. Carnage). 

OTHER SUMC FILMS

There are rumours that a number of other films are being developed in this universe. 

Silk - a Korean-American heroine, Cindy Moon was also bitten by the radioactive spider that nipped Peter Parker, thus she also develops super-powers (organic webbing, Spidey-Sense etc). Asian-American actress Tiffany Espensen plays a character called Cindy in Spider-Man: Homecoming, which led fans to speculate that Silk may show up at some point. 

Kraven The Hunter - Sergei Kravinoff is a big-game hunter who has one major quarry whose head he wants to hang on his wall. No prizes for guessing that it's Spider-Man's. 

Mysterio - an illusionist who uses magic to pull of his criminal heists. There have been a number of people to use the 'Mysterio' name, but one of the best-known ones is Quentin Beck (who will be played by Jake Gyllenhaal in Spider-Man: Far From Home). 

Black Cat & Silver Sable - a previously announced film called Silver & Black which would focus on these two characters (Felicia Hardy and Silver Sablinova) has been dropped. But don't despair: apparently these two villainesses- anti-heroines?- will be getting their own standalone movies, with Black Cat (arguably the better known of the two characters) most likely to come first. Oscar-nominated actress Felicity Jones (The Theory Of Everything) played a character called Felicia in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 but the chances of her reprising the roe don't seem great. 

Jackpot - another nickname used by different people. Firstly, Sara Ehret who developed superhuman strength when exposed to the Lot 777 virus. When Sara wanted to return to a normal life, she sells her identity to Alana Jobson who uses the Mutant Growth Hormone to give herself invulnerability, super-strength and super-stamina

Nightwatch - originally featured in the comics in 1993, Nightwatch is the alter ego of African-American scientist Dr. Kevin Trench. Trench sees a costumed hero die whilst battling terrorists armed with cloaking devices. However, when he unmasks the dead man, Trench learns it was an older version of himself. Spike Lee has previously been attached to a Nightwatch movie for Sony, so whether he'll still take that on is unknown. 

So it looks as if Sony will be keeping itself busy if all of these films come to fruition!

Lastly, let's take a look at what Fox have going on, with the X-Men franchise...

X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX

As the merger between Disney and 21st Century Fox has now gone ahead, the X-Men are cleared to join the MCU. That won't be happening for a while, so X-Men: Dark Phoenix might be your last chance to see the X-Men on the big screen for a bit. Especially with what's going on with The New Mutants... (more on that below)

After not one, but two delays, pushing it back from November 2018 to February 2019 and then further, X-Men: Dark Phoenix will be hitting cinemas in June 2019. 

Set in the 1990s, X-Men: Dark Phoenix focuses on Jean Grey (Game Of Thrones' Sophie Turner) who starts to tap into the power of the Phoenix- but to what end? Well, if you've read the comic-books or you've seen the utter car-crash that is X-Men: The Last Stand, you know to what end: it involves people dying and wholesale destruction. 

James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Alexandra Shipp, Tye Sheridan, Evan Peters, and Kodi Smit-McPhee are all back from previous X-Men movies- and are being joined by Jessica Chastain as the shapeshifter 'Smith' (having repeatedly shot down rumours that she's actually playing Shi'ar empress Lilandra Neramani)

Guess we've not got too much longer til we find out!

THE NEW MUTANTS

When one of the main cast of your well-publicised particularly troubled production bluntly comes out with 'Who knows when the f*** that's gonna come out?', the signs aren't good. Bit of an understatement, I know...

Starring Maisie Williams (she of the 'f*** knows' statement), Charlie Heaton, Anya Taylor-Joy, and Henry Zaga, the trailer for this horror-tinged hero-fest- featuring, as the title suggests, a new class of mutants- hit in October 2017 with a planned release date of April 2018. Due to a less-than-positive reaction to that initial trailer, the film's release was pushed back by nearly a year to February 2019.

More time to 'get it right'. More time for reshoots. More time to add a new character in. More time to ramp up the horror. More time to... well, we're not really sure. But then X:Men: Dark Phoenix got moved, and so did The New Mutants- to August 2019. That is still the case, apparently. However, there's been no sign of any reshoots but things are in the hands of the director, Josh Boone. But he's been quiet about it...

Co-producer Lauren Shuler Donner has even stated that, whilst she'd like to see The New Mutants make it to the big screen, she wasn't able to confirm that it would happen. It could end up on a streaming service (either Hulu or potentially Disney+, as The New Mutants was still included in Disney's release schedule that was announced at CinemaCon) but a decision would be made once the Fox/Disney merger went through. 

So, frankly, who knows?

ONE LAST THING...

This might be of cheer to fans of Deadpool. Fears that- following the Fox/Disney merger- the Merc With The Mouth wouldn't be a good fit for the House of Mouse should be allayed, when it was announced that there are plans to continue with the more adult style movies like Deadpool. 

Disney CEO Bob Iger confirming that they will 'continue in that business... there's certainly popularity with those type of films'. Iger also went on to say that any R-Rated fare would be 'carefully' branded so as not to confuse the consumer. 

Reynolds took to Twitter once the merger was completed with a true-to-form tweet:

Never change, Ryan.